Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
