bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
