Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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