this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
