that's an acceptable place to lick
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
