shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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