discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
