Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
