just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
