yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
All I want is dick and wine.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
