Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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