and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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