so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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