We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Dick very happy bro
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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