what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
