I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
