btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
