so explain again why im purple
no
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
