What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
