the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
