Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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