It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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