They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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