Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
