a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
