just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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