But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Randomize
