how can u be prego again
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I want her autograph on my taint
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
