You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
