sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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