Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
