i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
