took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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