Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
