if you like me you must not know who I am
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
