Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
