he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
