I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
