Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
...so i touched it.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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