Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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