Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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