Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You pole danced in your parka.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
