gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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