You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
