she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
