yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
