Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
