Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
