im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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