Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
