one two three fourrrrnication!
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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