I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
