They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Even my vagina gasped.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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