Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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