Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
