I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
