Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
