I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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