me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
