i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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