i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
